Celebrating Musk's Departure

Even the mainstream media is drinking the champagne instead of the Kool Aid this morning

Once in a while, the mainstream media gets it right.

You know the old saying. Even broken clocks are right twice a day. This morning, I received an email from Politico that couldn’t hide the normally sanewashed publication’s glee over Elon Musk’s departure from Washington D.C. in favor of doing the stuff he does best: blowing up rocketships and screaming at employees who are more used to his childish antics than the poor ambushed federal employees whose lives were ravaged by DOGE.

Screencap from Daily Mirror report of SpaceX Starship explosion

It is almost as if some Politico keyboard wizard grabbed the boss’s laptop in the middle of the night, furiously typed their screed, and hit “send” before they could be caught. Here’s the bulk of what they wrote:

SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE EFFICIENCY: You can almost hear the champagne corks popping around D.C. Elon Musk formally departed the White House last night as his brief but drama-packed stint at the heart of government draws to a close. Signing off via X after 128 days of Donald Trump’s second term — that’s nearly 12 whole Scaramuccis — Musk insisted his personal legacy lives on. “The @DOGE mission will only strengthen over time as it becomes a way of life throughout the government,” Musk said.

But if you believe that, I have a rocketship to sell you.

Because let’s face it: This is an inglorious end to what had initially looked to be one of the most consequential White House appointments in generations. Musk obliterated USAID over a single weekend and sent a wrecking ball through numerous other agencies — but while GOP hardliners were delighted by some of his activities, others were so poorly conceived they looked like sheer vandalism — and the damage will be felt for years to come. Many cuts were swiftly reversed, either by dawning reality or the courts.

Crucially, Musk failed on his own terms, getting nowhere near his much-vaunted $1 trillion savings target and making little impact on America’s debt and deficit crises. It seems likely DOGE will be remembered more as a chaotic missed opportunity than as a transformation of the federal government, and it’s telling that Musk exits complaining about the “uphill battle” of reform. As my colleague Dasha Burns puts it on the Playbook Podcast this morning: “He came in with a chainsaw; he went out with a tweet.” It’s got to hurt.

And then there’s the politics. Polls showed Musk was a disaster with the public, including millions of Trump’s own fans. He was swiftly removed from view after his hubris helped blow up the GOP’s chances in a judicial election in Wisconsin. The final straw was the impact on his own business interests, with Tesla suffering a collapse in popularity among the rich coastal liberals at the core of its customer base. After bleak Q1 sales stats were made public, Musk began shuffling back to the day job. “I probably did spend a bit too much time on politics,” he reflected this week.

128 DAYS LATER … We’ll always have the memories. Who can forget the chainsaw … the cheesehead … the gloating about wood chippers … the oddball presser with “Lil X” in tow … the Tesla sales show outside the White House … the “tech support” T-shirt … the “legion of babies” … “Big Balls”… all those despairing tweets from former lovers … and so much more.

I’ll acknowledge the few times mainstream media gets something right, even if I do suspect subterfuge on the Politico campus led to the mistaken issuance of this surprise. It was a nice thing to see from Politico this morning, and even reasonably well written.

As Trump’s own personal death star,

Scott Dworkin

, might write as he aims a laser cannon at Trump’s hide, there’s been nothing but bad news for the felonious foamy flotsam of cheese lately.

Because, guess what? The email was headlined, “Tariff bombshell.” The Musk news wasn’t even the Politico email’s most important bullet point. That would be the news about tariffs. Again, a direct quote from that same newsletter:

TRUMP’S TARIFF BOMBSHELL: Markets are surging. America’s trade partners are gleeful. Millions of U.S. businesses can’t believe their luck. Yep — Trump’s flagship economic policy was ruled illegal last night, in a bombshell court verdict with potentially seismic repercussions for the rest of his presidency and the entire global economy.

This happened because the bipartisan U.S. Court of International Trade¹ tore up most of the tariffs late yesterday. Some of the taxes will be left alone, but exactly which ones depends on who you read. This will get sorted out today, but one thing is sure: The Orange Puffaroon will blow a gasket, and White House spokesidiot Karoline Leavitt will be foaming at the cross. The reaction today should be epic. Get out the popcorn and enjoy the fireworks.

I don’t know who got hold of the boss’s laptop at Politico, but whoever you are, I hope they didn’t find you out so you can write a few more of these.

Thanks for reading!

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Footnotes

1. The court consists of three judges who have been appointed by 1) Ronald Reagan, 2) Barack Obama and 3) Trump. And no, I had no idea such a court existed either.