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Exclusive Look At American Special Forces in Greenland
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Exclusive Look At American Special Forces in Greenland

Trump isn't waiting... Special Forces are now engaging the enemy in Greenland

Charles Bastille
Jan 09, 2025
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Exclusive Look At American Special Forces in Greenland
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Ruminato has learned exclusively that Predator-Elect Trump has recruited American Special Forces for an early assault on Greenland. President Biden has reportedly told his staff, “Our hands are tied and our mouths are full, so who cares?”

Photo of Puffin with a mouth full of fish and a headline that says Attack on Greenland: And so it begins
A puffin prepares for the American attack by stuffing his face with a small army of fish; Image licensed from Adobe Stock

Sources say that the Orange Puffalo has recruited special forces operators from well-known military compounds outside the jurisdiction of the U.S. Military, including Yellowstone and Lioness creator Taylor Sheridan.

Ruminato has exclusive footage of the attack, which began with an assault on the Kulusuk Hotel in Kulusuk.

Map of Greenland with Kulusuk on Southeastern shore
Image by Uwe Dedering, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Reports out of Mar-a-Lago indicate that Trump would like to rename Kulusuk Hotel Trump Tower/Greenland.

File:Hotel Kulusuk - panoramio.jpg - Wikimedia Commons
Image of Kulusuk Hotel by Martin Cígler, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons, before the devastation. The van in front is reportedly a military vehicle provided by Taylor Sheridan’s studios.

Our Greenland correspondent, Hubert Blaine Grønkjærolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, is reporting that there is apparent military activity outside a nearby church just as this report is being handed to our clickbait experts. As you can see in the photo, the enemy is digging in.

Image of local church with Puffin lurking behind a hill
Greenland: Where not even the puffins can hear you scream; Puffin image by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash; Church image by James E. Petts, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons; image smashup by author

Ruminato has also obtained an exclusive and terrifying video of an American Special Forces soldier launching a brutal attack against the Greenland enemy. WARNING: contains graphic footage of drone taking off:

Developments are happening at a torrid pace.

In fact, so torrid that we have learned that the special forces operation has already failed. Once again, Ruminato has obtained exclusive video footage, this time of two defeated Special Operations personnel contemplating their sudden and tragic defeat.

Make sure your email is set up to view Ruminato emails in your main inbox so that you can keep up with these remarkable developments. And remember: The Greenland shiz is just a diversion so that you don’t pay attention to Republican legislation designed to devastate America.

There is only one place in the world where you can get updates like this on the War on Greenland. Subscribe to Ruminato. Pay us money if you have it. These correspondents cost us a shit ton.

Thanks for reading!

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Restack this shiz!

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Cliff Lake
Jan 9

Trump is already reporting a victory. Claims out of his benevolence everything will remain as if none of this had happened HUZZAH!

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