Netflix’s Rebel Moon: Do You Mind If I Borrow This?

I just need it for a couple of hours

Netflix has released “Director’s Cuts” of its Star Wars clone, Rebel Moon. Oh, yay? This review is based on the first episode of the first iteration (not the director’s cut).

Screen capture from Netflix movie; fair use claim

Have you ever lived in an apartment building where a neighbor wanted to borrow everything?

When I eagerly tuned in to Zack Snyder’s new(ish) sci-fi epic “Rebel Moon” on Netflix, I was reminded of Seinfeld’s Kramer, who borrows everything. “Rebel Moon” does, too.

“Rebel Moon” borrows everything from everywhere all at once. The good news is that if you’re a science fiction buff like me, it’s almost fun to watch a scene and try to determine its true origin. So there’s that. Here’s what I mean:

• Occasional David Lynch version of Dune vibes? Check.

• Lightsaber? Check.

• Star Wars bar scene where we suddenly discover the diversity of aliens in the galaxy? Check.

• Hardscrabble Western disguised as sci-fi (but only sometimes!)? Check.

• Mysterious hooded stranger like Strider/Aragorn lurking in the aforementioned bar who saves the day? Check.

• Nazi-like uniforms for the bad guys? Check.

• Ethereal “Lord of the Rings” music while the film lovingly embraces a character’s background story? Check.

• Borg queen? On a spider’s body, but… Check.

• Speaking of huge Tolkien-like spiders… huge Tolkien-like spider? Check. See above.

• Beautiful, Saturn-like planet hovering over the horizon? Check.

• Spend a few scenes collecting a motley crew in the style of Fast and Furious for an upcoming battle? Check.

• Mandatory English accent for the dastardly chief villain? Check.

• Exceedingly evil villain whose body morphs into techno-strangeness? Check.

• Tame the dragon (but make it look like a big crow)? Check.

• Save the farm for tall Hobbits from the evil villains? Check.

• Angelina Jolie clone who can fight her way through a gauntlet of well… anything? Check.

• Hero who wants to leave the small village but, just as she’s packed up to leave, finds herself in a must-save situation for a young damsel in distress? Check. (Checks notes) Almost everyone does this.

• Empire turncoat from the elite forces becomes hero(ine)? Check.

• Huge, orbiting planet destroyer machine? Check.

• Female knight with big horny-looking things on her head? Check.

• Impossible odds of techno-empire vs humble subsistent-level farmers who barely have enough metal for one hoe? Check.

• Amusing, probably sentient, robot with an English accent? Check.

• Slightly disguised horses with funny names because they’re on another planet? Check.

• Occasional close-ups of indigenous creatures that look just enough like Earth creatures? Check.

• Roman gladiators????????????????????? In, literally, an old Roman coliseum? Ummmm… check!

• Rebels against galactic empire? Well, obviously, check. Or should I say, Checkmate?

Other than that, it’s almost watchable. If you can get past the sudden, and somewhat startling, introduction of a mysterious Irish accent from one of the heroes in the far reaches of the galaxy:

“You from Dublin, mate?”

“Dublin? Never urd of it. Gimme an aisle!” (he means ale).

I made that bit of dialog up. Nobody ever mentions Dublin.

Despite my better judgment, I watched the second installment, too, because I like science fiction that much, and because I wanted to check out more borrowed items.

But, be warned. This isn’t just a production that borrows a few things from other productions. It is, truly, a monolithic library of borrowed items. I’ll leave it to you to find more in Episode Two. You’ll probably even find some in Episode One that I didn’t think of.

I have nothing against paying homage to other works. Heck, I dropped a few Easter eggs in MagicLand, my first novel. Besides, some people have claimed that most modern literature is a remix of Shakespeare. MagicLand sure was (Romeo and Juliet). So I get that.

Rebel Moon is not that. It’s a puzzle: Find the borrowed items. And have fun!

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire

Director: Zack Snyder
Writers: Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad, Shay Hatten

Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver

Director: Zack Snyder
Writers: Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad, Shay Hatten

Streaming now on Netflix