Some of you may not be familiar with Ruminato’s (the world’s best and bigliest news service) very own satirical and fictional film critic, Wesley Williams Jennings Bryan Hutchinson XIV, who has reviewed several movies and TV series about the Trump regime.
It’s all satire, of course.
The purpose of these satirical and fictional reviews is to illustrate the absurdity of our situation. Ten years ago, the plotlines described in these fictional reviews would not have been possible. Hollywood would not have made these movies because no studio executive would sign off on such outlandish plots.
A tech bro with a chainsaw in the Oval Office with his young son crawling around telling the president he’s not the president?
These things don’t happen. Hollywood would never approve this kind of stuff even as slapstick or farcical humor, although they came close with “Idiocracy” and the Netflix movie, “Don’t Look Up.”
Yet here we are. The films and TV series herein, although not real, are based on true events, and not always loosely.
Without further ado, here are the Ruminato “reviews.” Click on the image or button below the image to see the full reviews (and alt text if you’re visually impaired) from our esteemed and phantom reviewer.
Image credits are in each post.
SignalGate
“Implausible,” says Hollywood Reporter, “The screenwriters should never work again.”
Bring Her Back
Bring Her Back is a look into the mind of a madman or three.
I Love a Parade
“I Love a Parade” is the first major studio production using mostly AI actors.
Two Weeks Later
Pedro Pascal steps up in this prequel to the cult classics about a rage virus.
I realize that the original 28-day movies are about Britain’s quarantined demise, but let’s face it, Britain will be colonized and renamed by America soon enough. This is the way.
Wag the Dog
This version of Wag the Dog might seem familiar.
Enigma
Scarlett Johansson portrays a heroic Wall Street Journal reporter determined to end a caustic regime.
Sick
Owen Wilson is on his game as an ex professional golfer stuck with caddying for a degenerate simpleton who becomes president of the United States.
Cracker Barrel Has Fallen
Cracker Barrel Has Fallen’s spectacular special effects can’t save it.
All of this stuff happened, with, of course, my embellishments.
A lot more happened, too. I barely scratched the surface of our current insanity.
Do we even realize how crazy these times are?
Can we ever forgive ourselves for letting this all happen?
Check out my 3 Day sale…
As always, thanks for reading!
I find it amazing that every single one of these future Emmy and Oscar winners were reviewed by 54 critics and “liked” rated by 51,391 viewers. The exception being “Sick”, which has no “likes” and no critical reviews, but did garner 48 thumbs up and 15 hearts before those viewers grabbed their clubs and hit the links.
The writers certainly have a quirky sense of humor! I don’t think that I want to watch these movies. The plots are outlandish. I am more of a serious movie aficionado.