Understanding George Santos' Most Recent Criminal Buffoonery
You only need to check out the actions of one idiot to understand the idiocy of the prediction markets
This very short post is a true story.
One fine day in late February 2026, a man who at least half the nation thinks is certifiably insane took to the podium to deliver the State of the Union address.
Unfortunately for the United States, he’s not the only nutcase. Thousands of people placed bets on the online predictive marketplace called Kalshi on (hold on to your morning vodka and OJ) whether George Santos would attend.
Rather than test these people to discover if they have working neurons, somebody, somewhere, decided to keep an eye on George instead.
That somebody was the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC), which has miraculously managed to squirrel away a small staff of regulators despite all the assaults on modern government by Russell Vought, DOGE, and the various other machete wielders involved with Trump 2.0.
George, you see, posted an item on social media declaring he’d be in the gallery watching from afar:
This, for some reason, fired up a few pieces of hair on the back of the Trumpian scalp of a very bored CFTC lawyer, who snooped around a bit and discovered that George bet on himself on Kalshi, a predictive betting platform (like Polymarket but with a nonsensical name unless you happen to know Arabic) that he would not, in fact, be in attendance.
Editor’s Note: We know the CFTC lawyers are bored because they’re barred from regulating any real fraud that might impact the rest of us.
George placed his bet just before the start of the State of the Union, according to Kalshi.
To summarize: George jumped onto social media to declare he’d attend the State of the Union address. A desperate crowd of people who will gamble on anything then placed bets on Kalshi on whether or not George would attend the State of the Union.
George placed a bet that he would not show up after saying he would. George did not show up. George made money.
George has already had one prison term commuted by the pardoner-in-chief.
Before you place a Polymarket bet on whether he’ll be commuted again, you should know that the Trump regime is investigating its own CFTC lawyers who investigate the prediction markets because the regime really doesn’t want to regulate them at all.1 Nobody knows what they’re being investigated for.
This is not satire.
This is the United States in 2026.
Now, back to the Strait of Hormuz War.
What a country.
Thanks for reading!
Footnotes
Yaffe-Bellany, David, and Sharon LaFraniere. “U.S. Is Said to Be Investigating George Santos Over Kalshi Betting.” Nytimes.com. The New York Times, June 3, 2026. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/02/us/politics/george-santos-investigation-prediction-markets.html