Remember the story about a very religious political couple in a very religious state named Texas, which is famous for stripping away the rights of women and urging its citizens to send each other to prison for attempting to preserve one’s bodily autonomy?
And the coming divorce based on “Biblical grounds?”
If not, here’s a refresher.
Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton's Wife Reveals "Recent Discoveries"
This is the story about a very religious political couple in a very religious state named Texas, which is famous for stripping away the rights of women and urging its citizens to send each other to prison for attempting to preserve one’s bodily autonomy.
It’s my second most popular Substack article (this is not a huge accomplishment). I think most of the credit for that goes to a determined process server named Ernesto, whose story I passed on in that Stack. Thanks, Ernesto. I’d offer you royalties, but I think it’s illegal to cut a penny in half.
Anyhoo, you may have heard that there is a battle for the soul of Texas between a normal Christian who believes that you should embrace and love everyone Jesus-style, and a fanatical XenoChristian (Paxton) who thinks you should embezzle like a fiend and lock up anyone if they have a darker skin color than a Finnish king.1
Disclaimer: I don’t think they have kings in Finland.
(Checks interwebs and queries AI). No. No, they do not. But you get the idea.
This battle is for a U.S. Senate seat that Texans, for reasons only they can explain, never seem willing to relinquish to Democrats. It’s a classic example of voting against your own interests, which they’ve been doing ever since the pastor class there, often in association with Epstein types, took over politics and turned the place into a laboratory for Margaret Atwood’s Gilead from “The Handmaid’s Tale.”
It’s a state where “shush” is the most commonly spoken four-letter word, even though it has five letters. Christianity, honey, is a little different there than it was for the bearded one preaching the Sermon on the Mount. In Paxton’s version of Christianity, you take the “Mount” part, and leave the rest.
James Talarico, the seminarian running against Paxton who knows a thing or two more about Christianity than Mount Paxton, has been riding a wave of semi-disgust with Paxton’s antics, but we won’t know until Tuesday night if he’s found a way to fight off the one superpower of the Epstein class in Texas: It’s awfully easy to vote a straight ticket in Texas voting booths (especially Republican), and then skedaddle.
This is one reason that even the latest news about Paxton might move the needle no more than a McLennan County meth head’s toe tag during autopsy.
And what is this latest news, my patient reader asks? By Paxton standards, it’s just another Monday, but for many of us, it might be more, especially Pope Leo, who, when he voted in these midterms, called the vote historic, but not for the reasons the media said he did (see Footnotes).2
You see, it turns out, Mount Paxton has been carrying on with a woman of ill repute for longer than a Texas minute.
Wait, she’s a prostitute?
Oh, hell no. No way I’d call someone in the oldest profession someone of ill repute.
No, my friends, this is ill repute of the real kind. Paxton’s love interest is an evangelical Christian self-help influencer wannabe, which is a long title, but it’s Texas, and they go big in Texas.
If you haven’t muttered the joke yet, I’ll do it for you: Now we know what Mrs. Paxton meant when she said she was divorcing Mount Paxton on “biblical grounds.”
The fine lady in question is currently called Tracy Duhon, although this could change, considering her line of work as an evangelical Christian self-help influencer wannabe. Also, she’s Mount Paxton’s current whatever these people call themselves. This kind of proximity to someone who commits more crimes in a week than Lex Luthor almost guarantees a future name change, if only to cut down on legal bills.
Her whole schtick is that as a member of the great holy class of fundamentalist Christians, it’s really okay to sin like the dickens because God forgives you.
James Talarico, the seminarian, would probably agree. The God he talks about isn’t a judgemental monster out to castrate all the Texas men whose loins are too swollen to mount a horse.
Okay. Where was I?
Oh, right, so, yeah, that’s her scam. Sin, but do it with a smile that makes the local Pastor happy, and confess gleefully to said Pastor, if he happens to be around and isn’t chasing some kid around the altar (if he is chasing some kid around the altar, forgive him).
Tracy spends most of her time in New Orleans, which would be kind of cool if she wasn’t cavorting with a guy like Paxton in her free time.
As I mentioned in a previous article, here are some of the highlights of Paxton’s illustrious career, according to the Texas Tribune:3
Paxton has fought criminal securities fraud charges for most of his tenure
Top employees accused Paxton of bribery and abusing his office
Whistleblowers sued Paxton, claiming he retaliated against them
Paxton tried to overturn the 2020 presidential election results in other states
He was also recently under investigation by the FBI for corruption involving a wealthy donor.
During the final days of the Biden Administration, Paxton settled a seven-year Justice Department investigation against him by paying the DOJ $300,000 to leave him alone. In that case, he was accused of bilking investors.4
A couple of weeks ago, video caught him hanging out in Dubai with his new friend Tracy and some fugitives who donated nearly $200,000 to his Texas campaign for the Senate.5
The Paxton campaign has spent about half of Elon’s $190 million Paxton campaign donation keeping Tracy hidden from public view so that exhausted Christian ranchers hunting for affordable diesel fuel don’t find out about her.
Tracy wrote a book
I like people who write books. And I like people from New Orleans. So I’d probably like Tracy (although I’m fairly confident that she would not like me). I also like the concept of forgiveness, unless it involves bipedal orange pustules with tiny hands and weird hairpieces.
So this isn’t about her, aside from, again, perhaps questioning her taste in men, but even then, hey, live and let live.
In the book she wrote to soft-launch her career as an evangelical Christian self-help influencer wannabe, she tells her readers, “I never could have prepared myself for the dark, painful path God would lead me down to realize my heart’s desire.”6 God, I love AI.
This statement says a lot. My guess is that this fine gal from New Orleans has some issues that still need to be worked out, and that Paxton is part of a cruel lesson on her way to a vicious bottom, kind of like when a drunk embarks on a DUI rampage and is forced into AA. I have empathy for that.
During her long, dark march to this bottom, Tracy married a New Orleans multi-millionaire car salesman, which seems like something out of that classic New Orleans tome, The Confederacy of Dunces. It isn’t hard for me to imagine Ignatius J. Reilly pontificating extensively about a millionaire car salesman and his young blonde wife.
Troy and Tracy then started a non-profit based on their fundamentalist Christian values that generated $20 million in donations in its most recent tax year.7
Well, enough of this shiz, Tracy must have thought. There ain’t nothin’ more attractive than a Texas Attorney General with a passion for committing more crimes than he solves, so boom! Divorce time! Sorry, Troy. Sucks being a car salesman, don’t it? Even when you sell enough cars to fill a Texas-sized sinkhole.
I understand Tracy’s thinking here. Imagine yourself at a party in Dubai. You’re talking to a guy named Ahmed (no, really, I’m not stereotyping here, so please bear with me).
Mr. Ahmed says to you, “So tell me about your husband.” If you’re a woman, these are the kinds of probing questions you get from billionaires in that part of the world.
If you’re Tracy, would you rather respond with, “Oh, he’s a car salesman!” and see Ahmed’s blank look? Or would you prefer to say, “Well, we aren’t married yet, but I’m spending time with the most delicious embezzler of funds you’ll ever meet, and he happens to be the Attorney General of Texas!”
Ahmed’s eyes would light up like a Dubai skyscraper torched by fireworks. This could very possibly lead to other things.
In Anosh Ahmed and his fugitive pal Sameer Suhail’s case, those other things might include adventures like “defrauding investors out of millions of dollars in real estate projects in Dubai that never came to fruition, in what the plaintiffs called a “Ponzi scheme.”8
To be clear, this particular Ponzi scheme came before Tracy did when she met Ahmed in Dubai a couple of weeks ago. This meeting wasn’t Tracy looking for trouble, hopefully. It was more that she was Paxton’s sidekick while he traversed Arabia’s desert highways seeking additional graft.
But Tracy is living proof that some people find it much more entertaining to attach themselves to the elbows of people who are embedded in the dark arts of international fraudsters than to the elbows of car salesmen.
What a fantastic schtick. Latch onto that non-profit you started with your millionaire car salesman husband, and then become the queen of Christian forgiveness by attaching yourself to one of the worst human beings in all of Texas. It’s fucking impressive.
I’ve said this before: I’m in the wrong business.
Thanks for reading!
Notes
One more day to volunteer/canvass for James Talarico’s campaign:
https://act.jamestalarico.com/signup/volunteer_2026/
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Footnotes
According to my brief check:
The Brief Kingdom of Finland (1918)
• Prince Frederick Charles of Hesse: After gaining independence from Russia in 1917, the Finnish Parliament elected the German prince Frederick Charles as King of Finland on October 9, 1918 (to be styled as Kaarle I).
And that was it. No kings in Finland aside from Freddie.
The media spent a lot of time on the fact that he was the first Pope to vote in an American election. Okay, fine. But God knows as well as the rest of Chicago that he didn’t vote for Republicans (the Epstein class). I’m surprised TrumpleCrimeSkin didn’t claim that the Pope had no right to vote since he now lives in the Vatican and is officially a ferner.
Guilbeau, Julia, and María Méndez. 2023. “Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton: What You Need to Know.” The Texas Tribune. May 24, 2023. https://www.texastribune.org/2023/05/24/ken-paxton-attorney-general-investigations-lawsuits/.
“How the Criminal Case against Texas AG Ken Paxton Abruptly Ended after Nearly a Decade of Delays.” 2024. AP News. March 26, 2024. https://apnews.com/article/paxton-indictment-texas-d5e57fc6cd062c995ced91e9d2542199.
There’s even some video. That Texas boy sure knows how to have fun, don’t he?
McGaughy, Lauren. “The Christian Influencer at the Center of Ken Paxton’s New Life.” nytimes. The New York Times, October 27, 2026.
🎁 Free Ruminato gift link https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/27/us/ken-paxton-divorce-tracy-duhon.html. 🎁
To be fair to Tracy, the non-profit operates food pantries in various locales dotted around the Deep South, but that truly is a footnote to this story.
McGaughy, Lauren. “Paxton Partied in Dubai With Fugitives Charged With Fraud, Lawsuit Says.” nytimes. The New York Times, October 15, 2026.
🎁 Free Ruminato gift link https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/15/us/paxton-dubai-fugitive-fraud-allegations-texas.html. 🎁
Pastor Charles?
Nah...I like you better as a semi-heathen. 😂😂
Thanks for enlightening us about Tracy. She has all the markings of a crook.
It's the rampant hypocrisy. They own it.
Jesus would not approve. Jesus would flip over their counting tables while excoriating them.