Trigger warning: discussion of violent sexual assault and rape
How many rape-at-gunpoint accusations does it take before Stephen Miller’s Gestapo decides it should maybe fire a guy? One? Two? Three? No?
How about four? That’s how many times U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) Officer and alleged serial rapist Luis Uribe, prosecutors in Chicago say, attacked Chinese immigrant women at gunpoint and raped them. Prosecutors say he attacked one of the four women three different times.1
He is still employed by CBP.
He was captured in true Magat form. He was offered free sex if he would just please stop attacking women. Natch, he took the deal.
The Chicago Chinese community was well aware of his activities as a frequent visitor to Asian massage parlors and sex joints, where he (allegedly) accosted his victims. So a group of intrepid young women hatched a plan to offer him free sex if he’d just stop being a violent, sadistic asshole while he was frequenting their places of business.
They took a picture and everything. There he was, posing for the camera during the deal, as the industrious young negotiators snapped a pic of him next to the steamed crawfish platter at Royal Seafood Buffet in Hoffman Estates, a suburb near O’Hare airport. That’s him there, in the photo at the top of this post (the steamed crawfish somehow escaped the final cut).
Alas, according to prosecutors, the CPB stormtrooper was unable to keep his end of the bargain. Some restrictions in life are apparently just too difficult to cope with for some CBP rats.
Uribe subsequently took his service revolver to a hotel in another O’Hare area suburb, Schaumburg, where prosecutors allege that he robbed and raped another woman at gunpoint. The airport area was convenient for Uribe because that was the territory he worked as a CBP harassment agent.
When police arrived at the hotel to gather evidence, the victim and her friend showed them the photo that local women had been circulating amongst themselves.
Today (Tuesday, September 8), Uribe goes on trial on 10 counts of deprivation of rights under color of law, and one count of “brandishing a firearm during and in relation to a crime of violence.”
The crimes carry penalties from a mandatory minimum of seven years to life in federal prison.
There’s one catch. These are federal charges through the U.S. District Court in Chicago. You can be sure that Trump will be talked into finding a busy news day by Stephen Miller, the regime’s ghastly jackal of immigration hate, to pardon Uribe if he is convicted.
Uribe will then be free to don his shock gloves and assault more people.
Why I’m Applying to Be an ICE Stormtrooper
When I saw that ICE was going to use some of its $39 billion in funding for the 2026 fiscal year to purchase gloves that electrocute people, I finally said, “Damn, give me some of that action.”
My message to Stephen Miller: Send Uribe to summer camp in Uganda. Maybe put him in the same cage as other guys with the Uribe surname that the “alleged” rapist has helped ship out of the country.
The Trump regime’s assault on immigrants has cost Chicago businesses $1.26 billion
Meanwhile, a study released by the University of Illinois Chicago has revealed that Chicago businesses have lost $1.26 billion in revenue during the year since the Trump regime began its assault on immigrants. This has also resulted in $107 million in lost tax revenue for the city of Chicago.
From the Block Club, an excellent independent online Chicago news journal:2
The report’s findings are huge: UIC estimates that Cook County retail and restaurant businesses have lost roughly $1.26 billion in commercial activity and about $107 million in tax revenue since ICE enforcement increased last year. This lost spending was not redirected elsewhere so the losses reflect foregone commerce. This is due to a massive reduction in routine shopping trips that once served as a cornerstone of the local economy.
There are two critical points:
“This lost spending was not redirected elsewhere”
In other words, other businesses didn’t pick up the lost revenue.
“This is due to a massive reduction in routine shopping trips that once served as a cornerstone of the local economy.”
In other words, people just stopped going out. Immigrants in Chicago are basically sheltering in place.
Here’s the Block Club describing the grim consequences hitting a local grocery store:
Supermercado El Ranchito is a neighborhood staple in Brighton Park, a predominantly Latino and immigrant community on Chicago’s Southwest Side. In its 30 years operating, it has grown from a corner market to a full-fledged grocery store with a taqueria that serves guisados, a type of meat and vegetable stew.
But since the Trump Administration launched Operation Midway Blitz last year, aisles and restaurant tables are empty most days. When the restaurant is slow, store manager Yadira Rojo checks her phone and often sees on social media that U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents were spotted nearby. The increased immigration enforcement in President Donald Trump’s second term has led to a significant financial strain for the store.
If anyone can find someone in this insidious regime who says that they care about what happens to Supermercado El Ranchito, or any supermercado, I will forward all of my $TRUMP cryptocurrency to their bit wallets.
But so far, Chicago is still winning the Battle for Chicago. Gov. JB Pritzker:3
“Most people are not protesters. They don’t normally want to go out and stand up to authority, and I think all of that’s changed. People are ready. People are more ready. They’ve seen themselves to be like, ‘Oh, we are the force that can push back peacefully on these ICE agents.’”
Notes
The fact that Uribe allegedly attacked these women during the Biden years is not lost on me. Americans during the Biden years were buying heavily into the Magat falsehoods about immigration. Many still are, even people who should know better.
ICE and CBP have been a bipartisan effort. I sometimes feel like I’m pissing in the wind when I complain about American intolerance for what makes America unique: the diversity of its people and the contributions newcomers have traditionally made to every aspect of this nation.
It’s also important to point out that the Department of Homeland Security is unmoved by his indictment or trial. DHS has made no known effort to fire the guy.
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Footnotes
Meisner, Jason. “Border Patrol Agent to Go on Trial on Lurid Charges of Raping and Robbing Chinese Sex Workers.” Chicago Tribune, September 8, 2026.
Ruminato Gift Link:
🎁 https://www.chicagotribune.com/2026/09/08/cbp-agent-trial-lurid-charges/. 🎁
Abonce, José. “Chicago-Area Businesses Lost $1.2 Billion Because Of Immigration Crackdown, Report Says.” Block Club Chicago, September 8, 2026. https://blockclubchicago.org/2026/09/08/chicago-area-businesses-lost-1-2-billion-because-of-immigration-enforcement-report-says/.
Carter, Andrew, Caroline Kubzansky, Gregory Royal Pratt, and Laura Rodríguez Presa. “Operation Midway Blitz, One Year Later.” Chicago Tribune, September 6, 2026.
Ruminato Gift Link:
🎁 https://www.chicagotribune.com/2026/09/06/chicago-operation-midway-blitz-anniversary/. 🎁
If FBI agents can be forgiven for past actions of beastiality then I don’t see a problem here. All they want are goons that will kill American citizens, undocumented immigrants.