Ruminato: The Drones Edition
The full invasion is now upon us
It’s time for me to address the drone situation.
But before I do, let’s do a fiction promo because it’s been awhile and I’m overdue.
Without further ado, this week’s promo:
"Zeke Travers And The Raptor Of Disaster"
by C. H. Duryea
If you can't beat it, overfeed it!
A Slagmaster Short Story
When Captain Zeke Travers and the crew of the Friendly Card face off against an ancient cosmic horror, they’ll need brains, brawn, and some serious bending of the laws of physics to survive.
The Slagmasters—a motley band of interdimensional rogues and scoundrels—have set their sights on the semi-mythic Most Exalted Potentovoid of Skynixar, a prize they'll have to steal from the ruins of an abandoned alien temple. But taking this mysterious artifact awakens Vraxxtorr the Ceaseless, an extradimensional terror with a voracious appetite that transcends space and time.
Can Zeke and the Slagmasters out-eat and out-think the vast and ancient evil, or will Vraxxtorr’s hunger consume all? The laws of physics will be bent to their breaking point in this rollicking sci-fi adventure.
The Drone Invasion
You’ve probably heard about the New Jersey Drone Invasion. If you’re an overseas reader, I’ll catch you up. New Jersey is freaking out because there are swarms of unidentified drones flying around. Crazy rumors are aflyin’. These rumors run from an attack by China to an alien invasion. Some folks are saying that the drones spit out stuff like tiny dragons. What are they spitting out? I don’t know. Maybe Turtle Wax. New Jersey, if you’ve never been there, has a lot of filthy cars. Could be anything, though. What would you spit onto the fine citizens of New Jersey if given the chance?
Leave it to Fox News, Australia’s gift to the United States via Rupert Murdoch, to find a lone YouTuber who says the drones appear to be knocking down other drones:
From a Fox “News” story:
A New Jersey drone pilot says his device lost power and was forced to descend from a restricted chunk of airspace while the mystery flier he was trying to investigate managed to stay airborne despite a signal designed to shut down legal drones.
Michael B, a podcaster and paranormal investigator behind the Terror Talk Productions YouTube channel, lives near the Picatinny Arsenal, an Army facility near where dozens of sightings have been reported in recent weeks. He was flying in the area, attempting to get a closer look at a larger, unidentified object he believes is a drone.
"There was a drone just hanging out," he told FOX 5 New York. "I had full battery life. Not 3 minutes into the flight, I lost control of the drone."
It’s always silly season at Fox News, where unintended comedy becomes hard news that convinces millions to vote against their interests. However, my sources tell me that the image at the top of this newsletter better reflects what is going on.
Apparently, I was right all along. The Trump phenomenon is part of an alien invasion. If you think things are bad now, give it a few weeks after the clones have adapted to conditions on Earth (they brought their own healthcare, so they’re good there).
What I did not expect was that clones of North Korean President for Life were joining United States President for Life clones in the alien clone-making machine. It makes sense, however, given the president-elect’s infatuation with Kim Jong Un. It isn’t natural, but neither is any of this nonsense.
Merry Apocalypse!
Oh, please, let it be aliens. They have to be smarter than the majority of Americans. 😂