26 Comments
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Erudite's avatar

Maggots … trump caused Waffle House prices to rise 20% … where are you going to take your wife on Valentine’s Day now?

Charles T Quinnelly's avatar

Good one!

Patrick P's avatar

This is a photo of the Trump Library, where nothing more substantial is read than a Waffle House menu.

Valerie Starr's avatar

Oh ye of Little Faith who continually break the Waffle House commandments. A vengeful order of scattered, smothered and covered shall smite thee.

Charles T Quinnelly's avatar

Thou shall not toss grits on one another but it's okay to grab any uneaten raisin toast off another table providing it has sufficient apple butter jam on it!

Mike Hammer's avatar

Thank you Charles, we need so much more of this! Reminds me of the time a guy down in Alabama stole a baby Jesus and the whole town came after him. Beat him near to death with his own truck nuts. Poor bastard.

Charles Bastille's avatar

Stealing baby Jesus statues have their own set of arcane rules.

Charles Bastille's avatar

I am at the point where humor is about all I've got left in this fight.

Mike Hammer's avatar

I’m pretty much at that stage myself. I enjoy your humor!

Laura Warner's avatar

Amen, Mike Hammer

Marlee Ostrow's avatar

First time reading you and I'm sold! Unfortunately, it'll have to be August before I can actually purchase a subscription.

Charles Bastille's avatar

Thanks. I’m always honored by free subscriptions, too, because it means people are taking time away from their busy day to check out my writing. Much appreciated.

Jodi's avatar

Thank you so much for this outstanding explanation! Now I can be unafraid to go to a Waffle House fight without embarrassing myself!

Charles Bastille's avatar

Just one of many services I offer my readers. :-)

Mark Whitson's avatar

Are there rules for fights at Cracker Barrel?🥴

Disclaimer: pretty sure I’ve never been to a Cracker Barrel or a Waffle house.

That’s a kid it was all about IHOP… 🐇🐇🐇🐇🍳🥚🥚🥚🕊️🐝🕊️🎺🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸

🤔

Charles Bastille's avatar

I’m sorry, but I am not aware of any Cracker Barrel or IHOP rules. :-)

Mark Whitson's avatar

Damn, several years ago working on speculative fiction notes. Friend of mine came back from traveling out to Daytona Beach. Went to a Cracker Barrel.

Which may ever act of mind ‘what a Cracker Barrel?’ anyhow I digress.

But this other timeline has Cracker Barrel being owned by old black woman… they have hidden their ownership. So no one knows they own it. It’s where they gather the ‘crackers’ so they can keep them under surveillance… a literal mouse trap.

No disclaimer: I’ve never been to a Cracker Barrel and I have no intention just to disparage the brand. Just years ago when I was the only white guy extremely fair skin person in the room of people that we call Black in this land, we talked about these things in exchange for them, honoring me with a word that I abhor… I insisted that they share what they call white people. So I said I know you call us crackers, but what else and so I couldn’t get out my notepad fast enough once they started dropping to get it all down.

Anyhow, Cracker Barrel going over Niagara Falls in a barrel and keep an eye on those who will do others harm.

Some reason on this Easter Sunday makes me think of Jack Nicholson at the Denny’s right outside of Eugene…. Five easy pieces.🤟🏼

Charles Bastille's avatar

I haven’t seen 5 Easy Pieces since I was a kid.

Your cracker barrel story reminds me of a short story I wrote:

https://www.ruminato.com/p/scarletts-kitchen

Susan Niemann's avatar

"No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord." 😂😂😂 How did I miss THIS!? Hilarious.

Charles Bastille's avatar

There’s a lot of comedy in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. They’re old classics! :-)

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Jul 28, 2025
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Laura Warner's avatar

I was trying to add something to this, but it’s apparently not possible. But again, thank you for the belly laughs!

Charles Bastille's avatar

Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it.

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Jan 30, 2025
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